Othello Syndrome
by Iamthecookieninja
Summary: In which Konoha gets seriously jealous of Kano. "How did you get your body back, Takane?"


Everybody was happy when Konoha finally remembered his past life and started dating Ene.

_"Takane…I remember now…everything…"_

And that's how they became a happy couple with a long, proud history of two weeks, and although Haruka's memory had been replenished, he still retained some traits from Konoha. Such as still being annoyingly vague at times. Or having, as Kano said, "Hot babes" attracted to him. Or still being able to randomly slam down onto the ground and rip open van doors while it's still speeding. Yes, he was still in the body of Konoha, not that he minded being strong or anything, but what perked his interest was how exactly did his girlfriend of two weeks get her body back? Which of course led to the unavoidable question for Takane to answer one sunny afternoon alone in the kitchen eating negimas and drinking soda.

"How did you get your body back, Takane?"

Konohas' eyes were wide and childlike as he waited for an explanation.

Takane nearly spewed her soda as she looked at him. She composed herself. Takane too, had changed. She no longer was so against liking him and was less grumpy, due to some divine being above curing her from her illness.

The gamer wiped her mouth on her sleeve, an unladylike thing to do. Haha, like she gave a damn.

"Why do you want to know?"

Takane asked rather ungirlfriendishly.

"Sorry, am I not allowed to…?"

A wave of guilt washed over Takane. He remembered her and returned her feelings, she could at least tell him how she got her body back, right? Well it wasn't that bad, but to have Kano see her like _that_… Takane shivered at the memory, she was never doing that ever again. Especially not in front of that guy.

Takane cleared her throat.

"Well, it happened like this…"

But of course, Takane didn't know that her explanation left poor Konoha-or Haruka now troubled. Very troubled. Very very troubled. As he listened, a crease appeared between his brows, growing deeper with every passing word. He needed to have a talk to Kano. Pronto.

* * *

Kano had no idea what the hell was going on at the loud rapping on his door at eleven-thirty pm. The only reason he was awake anyway at that time of the night was to read his nightly dose of porn. Shut up, he was an adolescent boy, okay? It was normal to have hormonal urges. He didn't even have time to use his eye power to turn his porno into a magazine when his door was smashed of his hinges to reveal a figure clouded in dust.

Oh, it's Konoha. Kano thought dazedly, still in semi shock at the state of his door, this was something common now, since Haruka was settling into his new body and legitimately 'didn't know his own strength'.

Kano jumped off his bed, walking towards the boy, slightly creeped out by the intensity of his pink gaze. Come on man, it was pink, how scary could this guy get? At least that's what Kano thought until he saw Konoha's pissed off expression. Konoha was never pissed off. Never. It was like Shintaro hating the internet. Impossible.

Kano was suddenly aware that the same guy that he teased on a daily basis could easily break his (non-existent) balls and hurl them out the window without even breaking a sweat.

"Hey, Konoha man, what are you doi-"

Kano was cut off abruptly as Konoha spoke, his voice grim. Or as grim as an androids' could get.

"Kano. We need to talk. Man to man."

It was then when Kano realised that now would probably be a good time to run.

* * *

"So that's basically how I got Takane back into her body."

A panting Kano was tied to a chair while Konoha interrogated him. His porn was on the table next to Konoha, far from his reach. Dammit, he didn't even get to ten meters before Konoha had caught up to him and dragged his room kicking and screaming. Kano might not be the smartest person you were ever going to meet, but even he knew that the words 'we need to talk' was bad news. It sucked that he was one of the shortest members of the Dan. It sucked even more that Konoha was one of the tallest. The difference in leg length was completely unfair.

Kano glared up at the taller boy.

"Can you let me out of this chair now?"

Konoha didn't budge.

"Sorry, can you repeat it again? I need to check something."

Kano almost screamed, this was the worst day ever. How long was he going to stay here? His porn collection was calling him. Kano gritted his teeth.

"No."

Konoha gave him a smile.

"You don't have to tell me, I'm not forcing you to."

Really? He wasn't? Seriously? Maybe Konoha wasn't as bad as-

"But you do want to get back to your porno, right?"

_Fuck you Konoha_ was the only thought that went through Kano's mind as he took a deep breath and repeated his tale. It was going to be a long night.

"So I got Ene, or Takane-whatever, and I like, took her down to the lab to her naked body, and-"

"Wait."

Kano groaned. What now? At this rate he was never going back to his beloved porn. Or Kidos' panties that he stole from the laundry that day she wasn't there. Not that he likes it and smells them secretly at night or anything. He's going to return it to her. Someday.

Don't tell Kido he did that

"What, Konoha? Look, I really need to-"

The pale haired boy cut him off again for the second time that night.

"Repeat that."

Kano sighed, he just had to go without his nightly dose of porn. It wasn't so bad, Kano tried to cheer himself up, he could have a double serving of porn tomorrow.

"I took her down to the lab to get her naked body and-"

"You saw her naked?"

...

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Oh shitty shit shit.

Kano finally knew what he was getting at. Any guy would get pissed if he heard that some dude other than him saw his girlfriend naked first, even a guy as nice and clueless as Konoha, heck Kano would personally smash any guy who got to see Kido like that too. Kano's mind went overdrive as he tried to find a plausible excuse. His palms were slippery as Konoha advanced towards him.

"Hey, L-listen Konoha" It was evident that Konoha wasn't listening as he approached a scared shitless Kano. "I don't like her in like that, I swear. Her butt is tiny and her boobs are flat as, there's no way I'd like touch her. You know that right? I mean her legs are _fine_ but I wouldn't go for her, I've already got Tsubomi and I really like her and- Konoha?-hey man K-konoha, we're friends right? Remember? You said we were friends a-and friends don't do this to each other you know…"

Kano rambled as Konoha kept walking.

"You…really saw her naked ...?"

Kano almost shat his pants when he heard him speak. He could swear that Konoha's colour schemes just changed into black for a second. Konoha was good. Haruka was good. Kuroha was definitely, anything but good. Kano fleetingly wondered whether Kido would attend his funeral. Or spit on it. The latter seemed more likely, but hey, a boy could hope, right?

Konoha crouched and began to untie Kano's hands. Of course, Kano was utterly confused at this.

_Wait wha…?_

Konoha got up, a hint of a smile graced his lips, but oh no, it wasn't a nice smile you gave to a puppy right before it pisses on you, hell no, it was more like a smile you get when your mum tells you that the dog that pissed on you is going to be served for dinner. Kano re-shat his pants.

"Now." Konohas' smile grew wider. And scarier. "Do you prefer chainsaw or truck?"

* * *

The TV blared as Kido chopped vegetables expertly for dinner, while the rest of the Dan lounged on the couch, eyes glued to the machine in front of them that we call the "television".

_Bunch of lazy asses_

Kido huffed as she added the chopped ingredients into the pot. Jeez, even _danchou_ could use some help in the kitchen sometimes.

"Hey Kido, doesn't that look like Kano?" Momo's voice called out from in front of the television.

Kido looked up from her cooking and wandered over to the couch.

"What?"

The glare of the TV screen showed multiple pictures of a teenager shoved in the back of a truck, blood pouring from his wounds. The reporter blathered on.

"_A teenage male was found in the back of a truck on Jin Street last night at approximately 12:30 pm suffering severe wounds, most suspected to be caused by, shockingly, a chainsaw. Although this adolescent is now in hospital and in stable condition, the perpetrator remains unknown..."_

Mary's voice grew worried .

"Um…Momo, I think that _is_ Kano."

Kido stood, stricken at the bloody body that eerily resembled Kano, the black hoodie, the cat eyes, the mop of blonde hair. Realisation dawned on the commander.

Holy shit that is Kano.

The next brilliant realisation the usually composed commander had was who could have done this...It couldn't possibly be... the strength to do this… and those scuffles she heard last night through her sound proof door, Kano wailing "I didn't mean to!" and a voice that sounded uncannily like Konohas' cackling "So you even know the size of her boobs, eh?"

Kido's blood ran cold.

"Haruka Kokonose! Get your ass here right now!"

* * *

Takane squirmed in Konoha's lap, trying to find an escape route from his arms.

"Nngh Konoha, I really need to go and do the laundry, it's my turn this week. I'll cuddle with you when I get back, okay?"

Her plea was to no avail as Konoha wrapped his arms tighter around her, burying his face into her chest. Perv.

"Okay" Konoha's voice was slightly muffled in her shirt. "But only if Takane promises something first."

Takane sighed, having given up on trying to escape from him. Damn, the guy was using his unnatural strength to his advantage. Lovable bastard. Well, she thought hopefully, this was Haruka right? He wouldn't make her promise anything too bad.

"Yea, what is it?"

Konoha nuzzled her neck affectionately, which Takane thought was cute until she heard his next words.

"Only I can see Takane naked, okay?"

Takane's eyes widened. What the _fuck_ had Shintaro been teaching her boyfriend? Takane resisted the urge to punch Konoha. Repeatedly. She made a mental note to post Shintaro's baby pictures online. The pigtailed girl sighed, as long as she could do the laundry soon. She winced at the memory of the first time she forgot to do the laundry. Let's just say a pissed Kido isn't a good Kido. Also because somebody seemed to have stolen one of her panties that day.

"Fine"

An awkward silence passed as Konoha didn't let go of his grip on her. Almost tentatively, Konoha spoke again.

"Then…can I see Takane naked now…?"

SLAP

* * *

That was my first fanfiction, so go easy on me guys! Constructive criticism will be appreciated and all reviews will be cherished!


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